Growing Up Girl

I've been sitting ehre all day, *trying* to do my uni work. I'm finding it so hard to concentrate right now... and I keep getting these emails from my lecturers remind me of deadlines yadda yadda, and it's just making me even worse in not being able to do my work.
The more they tell me that it's 'due' soon, the more I stare into space.
I spent the evening and night with Mike last night.
It was nice, he came round mine, we had dinner, and we watch TV for a while. We went to bed around 11pm... and ya know... did stuff.
He has to go to work at 6am, so I said I'd give him a lift home at 4:30 if he gave me some petrol money and made me a cup of tea. :-p
I then came back home and slept until 11.58am :S I'm ashamed of myself!
That is all I've done really the last couple days...

I've been thinking, if any of the people who I feature in my blog actually read it, I'm pretty sure they'd hate me.
Because I'm sure to all these guys I seem pretty innocent, and it may seem that I'm only dating them.
I'm trying to keep my identity partially hidden because of this.
Am I really a bad person?

The work I'm having trouble with at uni at the moment is my final major project.
I keep changing my mind about what I want to do, and I really need to make my mind up quick!
I would like to maybe do something on the whole blogging thing, and maybe on how I'm being quite truthful on here...
I had a blog on livejournal, but because a few people I know in real life are on my 'friends list' on livejournal, I decided to open up this one on here, annonymously (sp?).
I could not really say much on the other blog, apart from nice things, I did not feel I could actually speak my mind- but here I can.
I'm quite happy about the comments I'm getting also- as I don't really wanna be talking to myself! haha, but I really appreciate the fact that some people actually read some of the gumf I churn out! AND have something to say about it.

Although it would be pretty cool to my project on blogging yadda yadda, I would need ALOT of research to back up whatever I would finish with- and on my initial search on google, there isn't too much I can research on really- in the area of possible 'split personality' blogs (blog tailored to the reader/friends list)... etc.

If anyone could give me any ideas at all of how I can broaden this project research (Ideally, the finished product would be a piece of text on a poster, or a photo, or something similar, something arty!!), it would be much appreicated.

So, Mike and I have been 'officially' together since I came back from egypt.
But he likes to say before that because we texted each other non stop... and yer, he didn't know I was kinda 'test' dating everyone... was I.
Anyway. I'm having a great time with him. We spent the day together last thursday... we had lunch, we decided on a whim to get piercings. I got my tongue done, and he got his lip done.
It looks cute on him.
I have a fucking lisp. But don't worry, now for long, as I get a shorter bar put in on tuesday.
But he says the lisp is cute.
I suppose we are like two peas in a pod.
I spent the day with him today... I had the day off sick because ... well... I'm sick.
He asked me to come round for dinner, and also he said he'd pamper me.
Which he did.
This evening though, we were lying in bed, and he told me he's falling in love with me.
I said I feel the same.
I think it was a kind of 'momentttt' thing. because I know that it's far too early, and ridiculous. I'm not falling in love. I'm just friggin happy.
I don't know why I lied. It just felt right.
But I HATE it when people say they are in love like 1 week after meeting someone, although I've known Mike a while, I'm just totally exaggerating... but yes, I've turned into one of these fucking people, I need to slap myself in the face or something.
I feel kinda bad too.
Because we were watching Eddie Murphy 'Raw', and in this Eddie mentions something like 'men, imagine your gf sleeping with ur best friend...'
heh....
Well, thing is, I did meet Mike through his best friend. and before I even met Mike, I had slept with this guy.... and I met Mike a couple days after.
Oh my life.
Good thing I don't actually wanna BE with his friend, or anything.

In other news... my ex is going to China?! with his best mate in March.
I think this is a pretty odd place to choose to go for a holiday... with ur mate. Like I'd totally get it if he went to spain, ibiza... yadda yadda...
but China?!
There's nothing bad about the place... it's just such an odd choice for 2 mates looking for a sunny, fun, week holiday.
He asked me for a ring he bought me back. So he can pay for his holiday.
He hasn't had a job for about 9 months...
He's not even signed himself up.
Why? Because he's lazy.
He tells me every day he's looking for a job. and when I ask how, he says 'on the net...'
Thats not gona get him anywhere.
I applied for his last 2 jobs for him. The first, was a pizza maker. Who was the manager? His brother in law. My ex was too lazy/scared toe ven ask his OWN brother in law for a job. So I had to fucking ask him.
He then left this job, for another job I filled out the application for for him. His excuse 'my writing is too sloppy'.
He packed that in also.
Since then, he hasn't had a job.
He sits at home all day.
Me threatening to leave him didn't make him look for a job.
Me actually leaving him didn't make him get a job.
And now he wants to sell a ring he bought me so he can pay for a stupid holiday.
The holiday is £200.
Shows how hard up he is.
Get a fucking job.

Sorry for that rant. I'm just so pissed off because for 4 of those jobless months of his, I went to uni full time AND worked three 8 hour days a week.
What really made me lose my fucking nerve with him is he'd sit at home all day... being bored, and when I get home he'd flap around me to entertain his boredom, when I really wanted to just chill out after uni/work.

Well I'm glad I'm rid now.

And I now have someone who has a job haha.

x

I'm gonna have a rant about things that are annoying me right now.

One, I hate people who are TOO arty.
This is most commonly found in art students.
They seem to live, breathe and wear art. For example, they draw/paint on every item of clothing they own, or on their own bodies, their makeup is ridiculous and big, their hair is cut at angles - usually cut by themselves, their msn names are some weird quote, their myspace is vague and usually modernist, they speak some weird lingo and make up their own words, their myspace photos are at weird angles... of with a night light, or in black and white...and they only socialize with similar people, although they try to out do each other- they call themselves unique.
This really piss me off.

Also, I hate it when people date each other for like 1-2 weeks, and already declare their love for one another, move in together, get engaged, yadda yadda. For fucks sake.
This guy I met briefly in a bar, he was pretty interested, and he was single... about 1.5 month ago, well he's just posted on his myspace that he's moved in with his gf, and his myspace is covered in photos of her.
What the fuck!?

There we go there is my rant. sorry if you are an arty person or you moved in with ur partner after 2 weeks and this offended you, but it's my view, whatever makes you happy, innit.

x

I've been back from holiday for 4 days, and I'm freezing my ass off!
Only had one day 'off' after the holiday. as I got into England approx midnight weds/thurs, had thursday off- in which I spent unpacking, tidying my room, and visiting Mike then I had work, fri, sat and sun.

My holiday to Egypt was excellent. Finally, I found a place where all the men worship me! haha joking, although they were all pretty much all over me, it was flattering, but a bit creepy also.
It helped me haggle shop keepers down alot though, on fake designer bags haha, I bought 9 bags in total... geez
The Ancient egyptian temples and tombs were beautiful, I'd love to post pictures on here, but I think it might be a bit inappropriate as I talk so much about other people on here, I don't really wanna obviously state who I am, I'm sure you understand right
There were quite a few hotties in Egypt, but as I spent the whole time texting Mike while I was there, I just couldn't keep my mind off of him. My phone bill is ridiculous.
Even my tour guide wanted something, he was alright looking. but I totally wasn't interested in anyone.

I've seen Mike every day since being back. apart from yesterday, as I finished work at 8, and was sooo tired and ill.
I enjoy spending time with him, he's funny, and he treats me well... but I'm not really sure if this might be rebound... as I haven't had a proper relationship since my ex, and since my ex treated me like a pile of shit, I've found someone who treats me like a princess, and grabbing him with both hands.
Could it be that I only want him because of this, or do I actually like him? I can't tell right now.
I feel really bad because of this, but I'm not going into a full blown relationship with him, and I haven't even gone past 'first base' (haha teenage language) with him yet, not tht I haven't wanted to, but he's never had protection, and maybe that has been a good thing- to stop us rushing into anything.

I also have a bit of a dilema. a guy I used to kinda live with, in a student house, in my first year, is coming to visit me on the 23rd, and we are going out clubbing, then he is kipping at mine. Well I agreed to this BEFORE I met Mike.
And old housemate guy knows that he is only coming down because he has been chasing me ever since I was with my ex, and now I'm single.
Old housemate guy is moving abroad at the end of the month, and wanted to come 'say goodbye'
haha.
Well, I dunno... dilema!

I was chatting with a girl at work yesterday, and we decided that if a guy chases a girl, he's interested, but then if the girl starts to show interest back, the guy becomes uninterested... most of the time. Well I mean, it's happened to alot of people I know.
Why the hell does it have to be this way?!!? At least Mike hasn't shown uninterest yet, but I think I might lay off of texting him back all the time, and wanting to meet up with him, to make him chase me more haha.
Am I a bitch? or is what I suggest ok?

x